Remember in How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, when Kate Hudson’s editor is like, “A what not to do.”
This is kind of that type of post.
Since we didn’t have The Bachelor franchise gracing our televisions last night, they still wanted to be top of mind, so E! News dropped a little #BachelorNation story before the evening was up..
Turns out Ashley and Kevin, winners of the Bachelor Winter Games, broke up. Ya, like a month ago.
So we’ve all been duped by their adorable online escapades but it brought up an interesting content idea for me, so I’m ok with it (for now).
I have spent countless hours watching and analyzing The Bachelor and The Bachelorette and after all this time, you think people on the show would learn.
Well they clearly haven’t picked anything up being on the show, but I must’ve learned a thing or two of what to do and what not to do from these crazy characters.
So here are some things I’ve learned, you can actually apply these to real relationships not just the made-for-TV ones.
Trust Your Gut
You notice how the person who gets the First Impression Rose usually makes it far or to the final two (or wins)? Ya, that’s because before producers have a chance to puppeteer the season, the lead usually is thinking for him/herself and knows who they are vibing with. The same can be said for real life: you usually know when someone is interested or not, often we ignore this when we really like a person, but deep down you know. We all know. You just have to listen and trust your gut.
The Honeymoon Phase is Temporary
If only all of our Honeymoon Phases could begin with helicopter rides, romantic escapades across the world and a mansion in LA, but they obviously don’t. Even if they did, we all need to remember that it’s temporary and what’s more important is to think about how you get on with the person you’re building all these magical experiences with. Do you communicate on a deeper level? Are you genuinely interested in knowing them beyond the superficial? A six pack doesn’t last forever but building a best friendship can, so be mindful of that and consider the life beyond the bed-all-day, Happy Couple dates and be ready to take it on together.
Giving It Up Date One Is No Guarantee (One Way or The Other)
Here I’m considering Date One as the Fantasy Suite date, since we know the ladies and gents can’t give it up on their 1-on-1’s. I’ve heard so many recounts of Fantasy Suite dates over the years of the show and if there’s one thing that stands out it’s that it really doesn’t make a difference if you two hook up or not. People will try to get with you whether they have an intention of it going further or not. Others will actively not because they have a stronger moral compass (yes some leads booze too hard so they pass out in the FS to avoid the hook up). Be sure you remain true to who you and if you feel comfortable and ready go for it. If not, that’s cool too. You do you because that’s who you’re in control of and it really is no guarantee one way or another if your partner’s head is on a different page.
Don’t Let Social Media Control Your Relationship
Like let’s all take a page from Ashley and Kevin of what not to do here. Do you ever see those couples in your real life, who post vom-inducing captions and constant candids of “Mine.”, “My Man.”, “My Girl.”? I am all for love (I love love) but usually when people go hard on social media, it means there’s trouble in paradise. It’s a straight up defence mechanism. If things aren’t going 100%, don’t overcompensate by going 10x harder of social. Talk to one another. Take time away from external factors and see if there is still a connection there. And don’t creep/like accounts that will make you S.O. annoyed. And to all the guys like Kevin and Arie, probably not a bright idea to DM other women while you’re still with your girl. That’s just straight up dumb.
First Impressions Mean Something (But Not Everything)
Again, back to point numero uno. First impressions do mean something, but it’s not always the First Impression Rose winner that wins the lot. Be kind, be courteous and make a lovely first impression. But also don’t just be who you think the guy/girl wants you to be. At some point you need to figure out if you two are actually compatible and so you have to put yourself out there to find out for sure. Be you above all else, because at the end of the day you want a lifetime with someone who accepts you for your true self, not just the version you think they are looking for.
Heartbreak Happens But You Shouldn’t Give Up on Love
If there is one underlying value to this damn franchise, it’s that love is out there. Whether it’s a rose ceremony or a bar night away, it exists. While most people don’t find love on the show, they do post-wrap and beyond. It’s the best part about past losers going on to be The Bachelor and Bachelorette. We all want to find love and we can’t give up on even the most obnoxious ways of looking for it. You have to dust yourself off and put yourself back out there, because when you find it, its hopefully worth it and just like any failure, a winner at love is just a loser who tried one more time.
What are some of your favorite relationship tidbits from TV and beyond?
Leave a comment below or send me a DM via Instagram to discuss.